


Who Said Justice is Blind?

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Assault, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Shooting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-15 18:49:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18675409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: After shooting rapist William Lee, who avoided justice, and Elle leaves the BAU, Hotch asks Elle to dinner in an attempt to make amends. Both Elle and Hotch have made mistakes and the justice system is by no means perfect. Can Elle forgive him for the part he played in her downward spiral? Or is the damage already done?Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Who Said Justice is Blind?

Working tirelessly for something, obtaining it and losing it in the blink of an eye took more out of Elle than she wanted to admit. Working with the BAU had been all she’d ever wanted. She had it. Had a family, or so she thought. And then she lost it all. But staying in that environment knowing that not everyone had her back wasn’t an option. Life wasn’t all or nothing, but trust was.

Months had passed since she’d left the team and though her heart still yearned for the ones she loved and left behind, she was coming to terms with everything that happened. Then Hotch called and brought it all crashing back. “Please?” He’d asked so earnestly she nearly forgave him on the spot. “I just want to talk. I’ve…made mistakes. I want to try an earn your forgiveness.”

She wanted to hang up the phone, change her number and never look back, but one, Garcia was the best technical analyst she’d ever known so she’d never be able to truly fall off the map, and two, she was genuinely curious if there was anything Hotch could say that might make her accept his apology. Despite her better judgment, Elle agreed to meet for dinner. 

Later that night, she debated calling and canceling. Her skin was crawling with nerves. Her stomach churned. Her body vibrated with anxiety. She was coming to a point where she was letting go of the anger regarding the whole thing. What if he said something she didn’t want to here and brought it all back up to the surface? 

Shaking it off, she got in the car and drove toward the restaurant where they’d agreed to meet. Her hands gripped the wheel so tightly her knuckles turned white and the trip took longer than she’d planned – going the speed limit suddenly seemed important – after all, the longer she took, the less she had to confront.

After what felt like an eternity, she arrived at the restaurant and although she’d been there countless times before she doubted she’d be able to return again. It was going to hold different memories now and she wasn’t positive they’d be altogether good.

Inside, Hotch was already sitting at a table. Even from behind, his confident posture and professional haircut gave him away. She didn’t say anything as she walked toward the table, but he turned around anyway, as if he’d sensed her there. “Hi,” he said meekly, so far from the man she’d known less than a year ago. 

“Hi, Hotch.” She injected as much levity as she could into her voice but it felt false and heavy on her tongue. 

Silence hung heavily between them for more than a few moments. Even the waiter must’ve noticed because he arrived at their table much more chipper than he’d greeted Elle at the door. Probably trying to diffuse the tension but it honestly just made everything more awkward. Once he’d taken their drink orders, the two were left in uncomfortable silence once again. “So, umm…what did you want to talk about?” She just wanted him to get on with it.

Hotch searched for the right words to say, when it wasn’t actually clear if there were any. “I wanted to start by saying I’m sorry - for everything that happened to you as a result of my negligence. There isn’t a day that goes by that those decisions don’t weigh on me.”

Swallowing hard, she took a sip of her drink that the waiter had thankfully brought to the table before making a swift departure. “I’m sorry for the position I put you in.” Between planning this dinner and arriving here, she’d planned her words carefully. “I never wanted to put you between a rock and a hard place.”

As he was about to answer, he was interrupted again by the waiter, who quickly took their orders and left. At least now he could tell it wasn’t a date. But he had no interest in finding out what was going on – the tension was thick. “When I told Anderson to take you home that day I…I should’ve been specific. He hadn’t been with us long and with everything that went on I should’ve impressed upon him the importance of having someone at your side. It was an amateur move on my part and you paid the price.”

She felt a phantom pang where Randall Garner had stuck his fingers in her wound to write in her blood on the walls of her own home – a home she no longer occupied because of how violated she felt. “For that, I forgive you. With the craziness of that case, it doesn’t surprise me that it slipped your mind. Plus, Anderson should have known. The entire BAU was being targeted. And on top of that it wasn’t malicious on either of your parts. I was vulnerable and I targeted the person who was easiest to target. For that, I’m truly sorry.”

Elle felt a weight lift off her shoulders, though there was still a nagging in the back of her mind. “I know what you want me to say,” she started, remembering the night that immediately led to her leaving the BAU, “but I can’t say it. I can’t say that I’m sorry for that – only the position it put you in.”

Disappointed, Hotch glanced down at the table and took a moment to formulate his thoughts. She wasn’t saying outright that she went out that night to kill William Lee; she was smarter than that. “You’re really not?” He finally asked, not knowing what else to say.

“No,” she replied confidently. “Who said justice is blind?”

Hotch spoke softly. “I don’t know.”

“Whoever said it sat in position of power. Whoever said justice is blind obviously never sat at the wrong end of injustice. Because I made that mistake – and I will admit my emotions got in the way of catching him the way we should have – he was let go despite the overwhelming evidence that he was guilty. Justice isn’t imperfect, but it’s not perfect either – not by a long shot.”

She had more to say and she could feel the tension rising between them. It wasn’t so much anger as disillusionment. But the waiter returned with their food and so they sat in uncomfortable silence, picking at their meals until the bill arrived. “I know what I said probably isn’t what you wanted to hear, but it’s how I feel,” Elle finally said. Given all the time and mental energy in the world, she could go on a tangent about the injustice of the system, but it was clear from the resolute look in Hotch’s eyes that they were going to disagree on the larger aspects of her end with the BAU. “I do hope you can accept my apology for the position I put you in though.”

For the first time that night, she saw a flicker of a smile in her former boss’s eyes. “I can. And for my part in your shooting?”

“Of course, I forgive you.”

They split the bill and hugged before they left - a clear sadness still hanging between them. Elle wished things could be different, but Hotch was a law man through and through. Even if he knew the system was flawed, his very being felt compelled to follow it. But justice wasn’t blind and she couldn’t act as though it was.


End file.
